Welcome new BOOBIES!

4 days ago I went in for my exchange surgery and now I have REAL IMPLANTS (as opposed to the faux implants-expanders)!  I’m not sure what they really feel like as of yet but I know they feel NO WHERE near as hard as those hard as rock expanders!

How do I feel otherwise you ask…
I’m feeling better each day that goes by.

I still have crappy drains in!!

I haven’t stepped 1 foot outside my house since I got home on Wednesday.

I have been primarily constipated…for days!

There’s been more pain in my right boob than my left for some weird reason.

Tomorrow I get my drains removed along with these nasty itchy bandages!




Around May of this year I started strongly thinking about relocating to a different city.  I’m a borned and raised Los Angeles girl and have always wanted to leave but due to me being a young single mom and needing my family support I’ve always stayed put.  But now that my daughter is 16 and was going to be a junior in high school I figured this would be a good time for us to go.  She would spend her last 2 years of school in a better community and maybe have a better chance to go to a good college.  I went amd visited a city I was interested in and even talked to people that were residents there that moved from LA also.  I was excited and ready!!

But NO!! I had a big scare! I found 2 lumps in my breasts…one in each.   They turned out to be nothing but I was so over the scares and the stress of testing twice a year.   Sooooo I chose to have my boobies removed instead of moving and starting a new chapter of my life.  I know in some way it was all in God’s plan but I never thought that just when I was really going to make this move my plan would get detailed.  Things happen for a reason and I can’t control everything!!

Hence……I’M TRAPPED!!!!!! 

Hot Flashes….poof be GONE!

I went to my doctor for my annual physical and she suggested that I go ahead and get on hormone placement therapy which I was already prepared to do prior to seeing her.  We discussed the different options available, which were to take daily pills, suppositories, or the patch.  I ended up using the patch just because I didn’t want to take a pill everyday and I didn’t want to use a suppository so the patch was the best option for me…in a very low dose

I started hormone replacement therapy a couple of weeks ago and so far I have to report that things are looking on the bright side.  My hot flashes have subsided a bit.  They haven’t totally went away but I can’t say that I notice a difference.

It’s really been a crazy feeling to be young on the outside but inside I’m like a 55 year old woman.  Oh well if I keep it to myself no one will know…LOL.

A day in the life of a BRCA girl

Let’s start with bedtime.  I put on the skimpiest cami and shortest shorts! Why you ask…it’s because I get crazy crazy hot flashes/night sweats during the night. See, after a woman gets her ovaries removed she goes into immediate menopause!!! I had mine removed Aug 4th 2011 and EVERY single day… multiple times a day I get HOT FLASHES!! Sooo freaking embarrassing and annoying to deal with everyday for over 2 years. To the human eye I look younger than my true age but inside I’m a old old woman!!

So, after I get into the bed I toss and turn for a bit then I fall asleep.   During my so called sleep I toss left…toss right trying to get comfortable on my back or sides. See..since my mastectomy I CAN’T sleep on my stomach and I was a major stomach sleeper.   This “problem” is soooooo f’ing irritating.   So between the hot flashes….covers on..covers off…clothes off…sheets off…sheets on…toss left…toss right.  Guess how much sleep I get?? Barely any…unless I take on of my anxiety pills or muscle relaxers to KNOCK me out.  Well that’s not often because it’s not healthy to pop a pill to assist with sleep every night.  

So I wake up in the AM to do it all over  again and during the day the hot flashes are just as CRAPPY.   Socks on… socks off… blanket on..blanket off… sweater on… sweater off… fan on… fan off!

Soo let’s talk obsession.  Now I that i have weird… wonky…mutilated boobs I am obsessed with boobs.  Ohh look she’s got nice boobs…ohh so does she.  Then I’m like…Ohh I’m sad now…I miss my boobs!! Grrrrr! Ohh look…nipples! I play with my mans nipples with absolute ENVY.  I miss my nipples!! I know it’s weird but imagine you lost a finger or toe.  You would probably look at fingers and toes different in the beginning… you might be obsessed with them also.

Fast forward…. the day is ending and time to shower (or in the AM depending on the night sweats).  I get out the shower and put bio oil on my incisions and hop into my skimpy jammies for another fun night of tossing and turning.

And this is the short version of what a day is like in a typical day of a BRCA girl. 

FILM – Decoding Annie Parker


Decoding Annie Parker


Decoding Annie Parker Trailer

I had the honor of receiving complimentary tickets to the screening of Decoding Annie Parker courtesy of the LA FORCE support group.   The red carpet screening was held at the DGA Theater in Hollywood, CA on Tuesday September 17th, 2013.

As I walked into the building and to the red carpet for photos with my mother, a breast cancer survivor, I got chills.  It was SUCH a great feeling to know that such an informative movie was made about a woman that has the BRCA gene mutation along with battling the cancers that come along with this mutation.  The portrayal of Anni Parkers story was so riveting and moving!  It made me laugh, cry, empathize, and smile.  I can’t explain ALL the emotions that I felt while watching it because I’d be writing forever!  It was hard to watch it with my mother because there were times in the movie that I knew she could personally relate to and when I looked over at her she just had this “blank” look on her face probably thinking “I remember going through that”!

Annie’s story is outstanding, she survived Cancer 3 times and was there at the premiere looking happy and healthy.  Of course when she stood up in front of the audience she received a STANDING ovation.  She, along with so many other women have gone through this battle.  Some won the battle and are survivors as others weren’t so lucky and lost their battle to Cancer.

I truly can say that this movie is a MUST see…a MUST see!  I hope and pray that this film gets released to as MANY theaters as possible because this story is amazing and should be seen be ALL.  This disease…Breast Cancer/CANCER period has and will affect EVERY single person on this earth either personally or with someone they personally know.  We ALL have CANCER in common and this movie just portrays how ugly of a beast this disease is.

I give this movie TWO THUMBS UP and would recommend everyone I know to go see it.