Some days I sit back and think about the last 2-3 years and how MUCH in my life has changed. The main event began with my mother being diagnosed with breast cancer in October of 2010 and from there everything seemed to just spiral. I remember the holiday season that followed weren’t so joyous (in my eyes). It was great that her cancer was stage 0 but it was just horrifying to hear that she too had to now go through this battle. See…my mom lost her mom at 9 years old to breast cancer, she watched 2 of her sisters battle it (1 had it 2x’s), and she watched her aunts also battle it along with many other women in the family. I knew our family history was strong but good lord I didn’t think my mom would get it, especially since she was 57 and hadn’t gotten it early like all the other women in our family. I truly thought that she dodged the bullet.
So back to the story…that holiday season was rough especially since she had her surgery scheduled for the 2nd week in January. I was going through a HORRIBLE situation with my fiance and our blended family, found out I had the gene right before New Years eve, had just bought my 1st home which was a major money pit, and was just stressed about it ALL! Fast forward, my mom tested positive for the gene, then I also tested positive, then my moms double mastectomy surgery was set for January. Ohhh and I broke up with my fiance/boyfriend of 4 years days after I found out about my gene and right before my moms big surgery. Can we say….TOO much going on!!
My moms surgery went well, they got all the Cancer during her double mastectomy but they were a little concerned because they saw something in her tissue and felt she should do a few rounds of chemo. So, mom is doing chemo and of course we’re all there for her physically and emotionally. But during that time I was sent in to get my 1st screening test which was a MRI of my breast. Can I just tell you…that experience was soooooo freaking annoying! My anxiety was through the roof because of the loud noise, the isolation, sitting absolutely still for a long period of time, and getting dye shot into my body. That feeling and experience was like NO other. So, I get my results back and they tell me they found 3 abnormalities in my left breast. I thought to myself HOLY CRAP!! My moms cancer was in her left breast…..oh my God I pray I don’t have Cancer also!! This was NOT a good time! So I then got scheduled for a ultrasound guided biopsy. Grrrrrrr that was also torture! The pressure of the ultrasound wand on my breasts then a long needle being stuck inside my breast to pull out tissue samples then putting a marker in my breast so in the future they know that particular spot was already biopsied. For the next few days I truly couldn’t stop thinking about the possibilities of the results of that biopsy, I was STRESSED and freaking out. Just a couple of days (literally) after the biopsy (still taped and bruised) and waiting for my results my sister was thrown a 35th birthday party. Usually I am ALL in and excited about a party…but part of me couldn’t help but keep stressing about my results and worrying about my mom also. I was in a funk, I was depressed and wasn’t in a celebrating mood but I put on my big girl panties and smiled and showed my support.
Fast forward, biopsy was clear and it was benign! YAY! But that was just the beginning of the psychotic emotional roller coaster I would be on because of this BRCA GENE! Knowing is a curse yet a blessing at the same time.
…To be continued
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